Wednesday, February 26, 2003 target bargains summer cotton bucket hat $2.99 mail slot container (for ingoing and outgoing mail) $2.79 michael starck calculator $1.99 michael starck letter opener $.49 10:15 PM

Tuesday, February 25, 2003 the aftermath i'm upset to know that evan and zora did not last...but who was i really kidding? i watched her on regis and kelly this morning and she seemed to be doing well for herself. well, atleast she got $500,000 out of it. now she can go to nursing school and joe millionaire can continue looking like the shmuck he is. i bet he thinks he is such hot shit right now because everybody has him on their talk shows and entertainment magazines. but in a year or two, he will be starring in the second season of surreal life on the wb with a slew of b-movies and this reality show to credit. the real reason why i am upset is because with the finale of joe millionaire, my monday nights have halved their entertainment value. now i only have real world/road rules battle of the sexes to keep me entertained, and that's only a half an hour. well, i am supposed to cut down on television. i have a fitting for a bridesmaid dress this weekend. "teal, the color of gangrene" is the shade. actually, its not a bad looking dress...i'm just wondering why i am in this wedding to begin with. how do you politely decline from participating in your boyfriend's brother's godmother's wedding? i'm just kidding....it's jame's cousin -- but wouldnt you want your close relatives and friends to be in the wedding party and not some girl who is going out with your relative? and besides, i would rather be a spectator on the sidelines. i'm better company when not in the limelight. now i must finish my paper because i have class in about 4 hours. 12:54 PM

Sunday, February 23, 2003 looking back i'm sitting in front of the computer with my cup of french vanilla coffee looking at pictures that i just picked up. it was a windy day here but i spent the majority of it inside james' room watching a disappointing wizards game (although mj played spectacularly) and reading my almost finished book. i still have to look for mrs. dalloway because it has disappeared from sight and i believe ms. woolf is upset over the derogatory remarks i made over the almost finished book (which turned out to be pretty good). i cant wait for things to begin. i'm twitching with anticipation with what's in store for me. and trying to tie up last minute errands that i will soon no longer have time for. *sigh.* i also looked back at my new years resolutions to see how many of them i am in the process of completed or have already done so...hmmm, lets see. 1.i will not watch so much tv. that's debatable. we'll skip this one. 2.i will un-addict myself from tetris. that's a check (because someone had too much time on their hands and actually beat the game so now i am boycotting it totally--yes i am a sore loser...and what?) 3.i will keep on exercising. okay, this one is a little tricky, because these past two months have been unexercisable due to arctic-like temperatures...but i did start the self magazine challenge this past week and will continue to do so. 4.i will stop downgrading myself. i guess. that remains to be seen. 5.i will keep to 300 anytime minutes on my cell phone. i actually upgraded to 400 minutes (it was a free promotion) and can't even keep it under that so no check. 6.i will excel at my hobby. i have to say i have been slacking big time on this, but refer to # 3 for excuse. its too damn cold outside. and yes, you can make the argument that weather is not a factor when it comes to art, but i would rather wait for more comfortable weather. and cold weather is bad for your camera. so there. 7.i will keep on looking for a job. check. : ) 8.i will wake up at a decent time in the morning. lets just call this a work-in-progress. 9.i will learn how to cook one fancy dish. does instant soup count? putting lemon in ichiban makes a great difference. i will not post again til i finish this book. 8:03 PM

take two of every animal.... it feels like armaggedon is approaching...war, floods natural disasters, etc. watching the news is just getting more depressing. people dying in clubs, little girls getting the wrong transplant and dying, cargo ships exploding, stock market plunging, oil prices rising. these are not good times. i, unlike some people, will refrain from blaming current political parties in power -- i, instead, will leave the blame to pure coincidence and shitty luck. today we celebrated my goddaughter's first birthday. watching these little kids was hysterical, especially during the musical chairs debacle. there were about 8 children plus james' 22 year old brother holding the birthday celebrant. all the other participants ranged between the ages of 5 and 10. personally, i was rooting for a little girl named selena who had a slight resemblance to amelie. she had the cutest haircut, but that's besides the point. the first kid to be kicked out was about 4 years old and as soon as he realized he did not have a chair to sit on, he stopped where he was and started wailing. i dont think everyone's laughter was helping his situation. he immediately made a run for his mother's leg where she comforted him while the contestants continued. the rest of the kids dwindled till it was the 22 year old and the little girl i was rooting for. and it was obvious that a 5'7" male would have a slight advantage over a 10 year old girl, but i believe she played valiantly. after she lost, she went off crying to her mother and boycotted the rest of the games in protest over the unfair policies of musical chairs. i spent the rest of the night trying to finish the rest of this book that has taken me almost 2 weeks to complete. damn you style channel. hindrance to all my academic efforts. 3:27 AM

Friday, February 21, 2003 its beautiful outside i forgot what 45 degrees felt like. 1:58 PM

Wednesday, February 19, 2003 extended vacation many things are running through my head right now. because i have procrastinated on my homework, i am now two weeks behind. i have many mundane errands to run for the next couple of days. drop off paperwork at job. open savings account. drop off dry cleaning. change my check book address. buying work stuff. i'm afraid that i dont have time to go to california before i start work. i'm trying to work out the details. the sucky part is i wont be able to go on vacation as frequently as i have done in the past. but i'm just counting present blessings right now. i'm feeling a little homesick. i've spent the last two days shoveling a driveway and sidewalk that were not mine. and besides the wonderful company and the great food, i am kind of looking forward to sitting on my own bed and rifling through my own shit. i guess it really is important to have a space of your own, something you can come back to and call your own. and even though i'll be running right back here the next day, i still love my little space. i think its mostly for the procrastination value that my room presents. so many things to distract me from the tasks at hand. i've got a ton of reading to do, but putting together work outfits or reorganizing my desk are so much more entertaining at two o'clock in the morning. 2:03 AM

Monday, February 17, 2003 oh, the weather outside is frightful in anticipation of the so-called blizzard later during today, i have decided to procrastinate on finishing homework in hopes that class may be cancelled on tuesday. this book is particularly difficult to get through, as it is redundant in its message and the author achieves writing in circles to complete a 187-page book. i cannot follow her train of thought because i feel it is all over the place, not really giving any meaning to what the book is supposed to be about. i spent the weekend trying to get through this book, but certain distractions inhibited my study habits. i recieved my offer of employment letter from work and certain forms that i have to fill out. i spent the majority of my time just looking at my new title: assistant editor, core accounts. ah, meaning. purpose. i spent the other half of the weekend spreading the good news to everyone, anticipating their reaction and my reaction to their reaction. i have been waiting for this moment so long, i wanted to savor the feeling. : ) james and i won a monkey at dave&busters on saturday. michelle and her cousins were their celebrating a birthday and i tagged along. i think winning prizes has become an obsession. whenever i find myself in a carnival like atmosphere, it becomes necessary for someone to win me a prize. and considering james is my boyfriend, he automatically becomes designated prize winner. the sad part is, the prizes are usually crappy and basement-worthy (which is where they end up) but i like the feel of the victory as i carry out my material winnings. i seriously need help. the best part of the night was playing jurassic park, the lost world. james and i sat in a 2 seater booth with a large video screen. i screamed every time a dinosaur jumped into my view and by the end of the game i had serious heart palpitations. so i will get back to my book...or atleast attempt to before falling into a deep slumber that will be awoken with 12-24 inches of snow that i must dig my car out of in the morning. 2:02 AM

Saturday, February 15, 2003 yummy yesterday i went to ny to run errands. i took the train in because i was punishing myself for driving into ny the day before and then remembering that i forgot the papers that i was supposed to bring into the city in the first place, forcing me to turn around and then pay another $6.00 to get on the gwb, basically paying $12.00 to get into ny. anyway, i went to the office and picked up the mail and then went to the bank and deposited checks and then went to urban outfitters and picked up a sweater (okay, that wasnt a part of my errands, but it was on sale, dammit!). before i went home i decided to grab a hotdog at gray's. fastforward to home: i'm sitting at my desk about an hour later, sorting through the mail and i realize that i smell like hotdog. and i know that being in gray's for about 10 minutes doesnt permeate the clothes in such a way that the smell lingers over an hour later. and the smell was pissing me off because i was getting hungry again. so i smell the arm of my sweater and it smells fine. i smell my fingers and they smell fine too. so i'm sitting there with my head leaning against my hand and i look in my sweater and i see sauerkraut and ketchup just chillin' on the inside of my sleeve. i am a messy eater. oops. 1:14 PM

Thursday, February 13, 2003 going postal at the dmv no offense to the people that actually work at the dmv, but i feel really sorry for the ones that i saw today. every single person i encountered had the same look in their eyes...bland, jaded, dead. i think the flourescent lighting sucks the life out of anyone who stands under it for too long. and to look at those lines day after day, week after week, month after month dealing with the same idiotic people that dont understand how to fill out an application must be so frustrating. i tried to smile and say thank you and show some appreciation but i think they were so far gone that they had stopped reacting to emotion all together. but i did get to check that off my to-do list. many things to do before i have no time to do them. i am using my free time wisely, i guess. 12:56 PM

wondering, waiting i'm sitting in front of the computer, feeling slightly guilty that i did not go to my interview today and wondering whether i should brave the lines at the dmv. i should go...i've had to change the address on my license for almost 7 years. according to the state of new jersey records, i still live at 30 mill road. *sigh* i called my interviewer at 830am and she agreed that i should not come in for the interview today. now i feel like i should have atleast considered the offer before jumping into it so quickly. what if the interview today was the job opportunity i wasnt supposed to pass up. this is what i get for being so impatient. but on the up side, i have a job! march 17th is orientation and the first day of training. training is for 2 months and after 5 weeks i will get to have my own little cubicle. ah, so many more things to decorate. finally. 9:18 AM

Wednesday, February 12, 2003 i got the job!!!! as of march 17, 2002, i will be a full-time employee at m*rtindale. : ) 1:18 PM

Tuesday, February 11, 2003 not even two minutes later hmm. someone just called me for another interview. onward and upward! blech. 2:46 PM

bear claws my biggest flaw is that i am so impatient. i hate surprises. my imagination works overtime just thinking about what "may" happen or what "could" be. its a very annoying thing to not be able to function effectively because you can't stop yourself from letting this one thought consume your whole lifestyle. Aquarius Horoscope Mon Feb. 17, 2003 by Astrocenter.com New enterprises, perhaps involving writing, speaking or publishing, which you've worked for a long time towards perfecting might pay off today, dear Aquarius. Success definitely appears to be in the wind, and those in authority may be more than impressed with what you've been trying to achieve. Grab the gold ring now and take advantage of this opportunity, as it might be a long time before another one comes around. Onward and upward! stupid, stupid things like this make me simultaneously leap for joy and heave to vomit. i really should ban myself from reading horoscopes. they almost never come true. but its annoying because if it is true, its a week away. blech. 2:42 PM

Sunday, February 09, 2003 i love the little things our secret language. the tummy dance. texting. giant penguins on the bed. he's a closet-blanket stealer, while i'm a notorious bed hogger. we argue over which news station has more credibility: upn 9 or wb 11. some of our funnier conversations revolve around our daily bowel movements. we have an ongoing rivalry with one another because of the video game tetris. he makes up songs and i sing along. our most favorite thing to do is sit at home with a pepperoni pizza, a bag of sour cream and onion potato chips and a dvd. i willingly attend his car shows. he understands my obsession with antarctica documentaries. he combs my hair. i pluck his brows. i got him addicted to mtv. because of him, i can appreciate the asthetics of rims. i could not be happier. happy anniversary. 5:01 AM

Thursday, February 06, 2003 its settled i'm moving to brooklyn. for the first 25 years of my life, i have never ventured past manhattan into cosby-show land and the such. but in honor of jenn's birthday and mine, michelle and i ventured past the williamsburg bridge to the land of the oh-so cute. that was my mantra for the night, anyhow. jenn's apartment is so cute. her neighborhood is so cute. all the little shops that line north eighth are so cute. the restaurant we ate at for dinner was so cute (and, surprisingly inexpensive). it kind of reminded me of a tiny version of berkeley...or haight-ashbury. 6:50 PM

Tuesday, February 04, 2003 happy post birthday thank you everyone for making my birthday the best one yet...friday was paella and sangria at sabor, saturday was chinese buffet for my aunt's 50th birthday celebration, sunday was filipino night at james' house and monday was seafood night at mccormick & schmick's with my family. fortunately and unfortunately the festivities are not yet done. i have one more birthday dinner to celebrate and then i can breathe again. 2:59 PM