i have measured out my life with coffee spoons.

Sunday, March 13, 2005

mean

this morning, i went to the drive-thru at d&d (i dont care, its still the way i'm going to say it). i was following a white sedan with an older lady driving. she overshot the drive-thru entrance and ended up past it, basically giving me her spot in line. at first, i didnt realize what she was doing -- she just sat in her car and it looked like she was waiting for something. i wasnt paying that much attention. as the car ahead of me pulled past the order menu, she signals to me if she can cut me off and order.

first of all, the angle that she was at made it totally impossible for her to get to the order menu if she cut in front of me. second of all, she had ample time to pull her car into reverse and get right behind me, probably saving herself more time instead of waiting for the car ahead of me to pull ahead and then trying to signal me. third of all, there was only one car behind me, so it wasnt like she was going to have to wait long to get her order in.

so i gave her a really dumb look and drove up to the menu. it was at that exact point where the guilt sank in. and i realized what an ass i was. and that i should have just let her go ahead. i wasnt in such a rush that i couldnt have let her just go. i was just pissed off by her lack of common sense.

so fast forward to five minutes later. i'm driving on 440 and i come to a stoplight where a flock of seagulls are hovering over bread crumbs on the side of the road which just happened to be
5 feet from where my car was sitting. and for no apparent reason, other than horrible human nature, i was compelled to chuck my coffee at the birds.

i did not. but the thought was there. i dont know what came over me this morning. now i'm convinced that sometime very soon, an old lady is going to run me over or a flock of seagulls
are going to go apeshit on my car.

yesterday i was on a mission. objective: go to mall. go straight to toy store. buy gift for one-year old nephew. leave mall with that purchase and that purchase alone. mission failed. all on account of a cute yellow suede bag sitting in front of club monaco. at first, my defense was up and i willed myself out of the damn store and into macys to look for something else with james. but as we were leaving the mall (5 minutes to closing) we just happened to pass by the store again. it may have been the announcement of the mall closure in 5 minutes or the inane justification that cute yellow bag would have meaning and purpose in my life, but i was drawn into the store by some unknown force. before i could fully comprehend the situation, i was pulling out my wallet and in a blur that i cannot fully remember, i was suddenly in the car with not one shopping bag, but two!

its a mystery to me. and we'll leave it at that.

9:50 PM

Friday, March 11, 2005
the last straw

i despise forwards. they are the bain of my existence. i see them in my inbox and i cringe. i warn family and friends of the repercussions they face if they attempt to email me a forward. in theory, its a sweet gesture...foward this to four hundred people and all your problems will disappear...world hunger will end...war in the middle east will cease...israel and palestine will hold hands in a gesture of love and hope...all because you emailed this piece of junk to one more person. i dont mind if you put effort into emailing me a forward -- if its a really special one that you think i will appreciate. effort involves highlighting all the subsequent email addresses that were reached before i. effort involves pressing the delete button to erase all those subsequent email letters in a pseudo attempt in writing a legitimate email. effort involves putting my name, and only my name, in the address field. no cc's, no bcc's.

it is greatly appreciated if you actually write out a phrase or even a sentence saying something to the effect of, "hey, thought you might like this," or, "hey, thought of you when
i read this." not a challenge, i assure you.

those kinds of forwards are acceptable. and that's if i'm in a good mood. i'm slowly warming up to that kind of mail.

i draw the line at text messaging forwards. i mean, its like getting calls from telemarketers on your freakin cell phone. its like getting instant messages from your credit card company about new rates and promotions. door-to-door salesman coming to you at work. you get the picture. save that shit for junk mail and spam. have you no shame? are there no more boundaries?

i'm one forward away from boycotting technology as a whole.

p.s. mark,
gracias.
danke.
merci.
grazie.
obrigado.
thank you for fixing the sad little hole in my blog.

11:13 PM

Tuesday, March 08, 2005
d&d?

in reference to dunkin donuts, i sometimes refer to it as d&d. follow my train of thought as i relay a conversation i had with bles on friday night, on the way to hoboken.

me: i could really go for some d&d right now.
bles: d&d?
me: dunkin donuts.
bles: its not d "and" d, its dd.
me: (not comprehending yet) what? that sounds all wrong. no, dee-and-dee.
bles: its not dunkin "and" donuts, its dunkin donuts.
me: (realizing my mistake, but refusing to admit defeat) no....dunk "AN" donuts - D "an" D.

immediate laughter and pain eminating from a fractured rib follow.

10 minutes later, james gets in the car.

me: sweetie, how do you abbreviate dunkin donuts?
james: d&d?

and so on and so forth.

4:32 PM

Wednesday, March 02, 2005
coffeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

i'm yearning for a good cup of coffee. i've been in and out of sleep since i got home from work. actually, if i want to be truly honest, i was in and out of sleep since i woke up this morning. while i was getting milk at the grocery this morning, i found the hawaiian sweet bread that i ate everyday while i was in s.f. with james. its funny how memories work. ever since i bought the bread (three loaves of it), i cant stop thinking about that trip. every morning we would get coffee at the 7-11 around the block (s.f. doesnt really have d&d's and james wasnt a starbucky fan back then) and i would pick up that bread for breakfast.

8:40 PM